The Theoretical Shopaholic

I wish someone would help me celebrate International Women’s Day by buying me one of everything from the Marni for H&M line.
Bu srsly. Sort this out, people.

As a child (and a fan of Katy Keene comics) I always assumed that I’d own a dress like this (only $140! from Mercy Vintage Now). In every colour.

So this is from the Versace / H & M line out this November (not sure on the price, could go either way – deep discount after three weeks or sold out then jacked up on eBay). I’ve had good luck with Viktor & Rolf’s well-tailored, heart-themed line for the Swedish chain (though I still have an unworn lady-tuxedo in my closet). I waited in line for Comme Des Garçons and came out the better for it, with jodhpurs, perfume and polkadot shirts that made me wonder why I needed CDG’s designer line at all. I tried to find something I liked at Lanvin, but couldn’t justify one of those poufy dresses, not even for the laffs.

But here lies the problem with designer-for-all collaborations: that dress is ridiculous. I think we can all agree on that. It’s so jolie laide you kind of want to take it home and let it live in your closet, and wear it to prove how your extreme hotness can withstand even shapeless slips and leopard-print sequins.  But can you imagine showing up to a party wearing this – and not being the only one? You’d have to play ‘twinsies’ all night, and you’d have to laugh it off to avoid seeming like a diva or, god forbid, high maintenance, but really you’d just resent the hell out of the other woman, not because she stole your look but because she exposed you as unoriginal. How mortifying.

Wait, am I being overly dramatic? I don’t know. I am shuddering just thinking about it.

Can I love this dress and hate every single other thing in this photo, including (especially) the look on that model’s face? ‘World wonder? Whatevs!’

Via ihurtiaminfashion

That`s exactly what Machu Picchu needs. More fashion shoots.

I do not need this dress. I do not need this dress. Unless I become First Lady c. 1980, I do not need this dress.

Dress ($65) c/o Etsy vendor Bombshell Shocked

Is this dress too much? It seems a little much. I’ll just stick to the serving tray I got in Sweden with a virtually identical pattern.

(Source: omgthatdress)

Got this Ann Demeulemeester dress/tunic for a song from Etsy vendor Regal Vintage. Only problem is, I’m not entirely sure how to wear it. My good friend N used to work at Les Créateurs boutique, the best (and perhaps only) place for women to buy Yohji, Rick Owens, etc. in Montreal, assuming they’re brave enough to ring the bell and get buzzed in. Anyway, she was constantly showing customers ‘how to wear clothes,’ as some required elaborate applications, or could be styled in various ways.

I’m going to need her to give me a tutorial, or hire her as a lady-in-waiting.

Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein.

If you recognize that exchange, then you’re going to be super psyched about Calvin Klein re-issuing Cher Horowitz’s barely there little white dress. Also, if you have $916 to spare.

It’s currently available at Confederacy. And don’t forget, you can always class it up with a see-through, button-up shirt!

More shameless promotion for stuff I’ve got up at My Ex Closet (in this case, a cute, brand new Bedo dress for a mere $70). For various silly-yet-specific reasons I don’t think I ever want to wear that particular shade of magenta again – but that doesn’t mean some other pretty young thing should miss out on a tewtally cute Grecian-style dress.